Have you met that married couple dedicated to a life of mutual irritation? How about the other one, the two that are so in love that their surroundings become ill?

Before you click to a new window, let me assure you that our ag-business blog has not turned into marriage counseling. It just happens that there are multiple applications here. Stay with me.

The secret behind both couples is what Stephen Covey calls:

The Emotional Bank Account.

Think of an account where good deeds add credit while irritations destroy it. For example, if I make coffee for Rachel, it adds credit to my account. If I do the dishes, more credit.   But if I drag my muddy mountain bike through our college apartment, it burns credit. (That never happened, obviously. Just an example!)

All people, in business, friendship and marriage, have emotional bank accounts with each other. When accounts are full, the other can do no wrong. When they are empty, nothing works. In the latter scenario, comments like “ I can’t believe she blew up over such a little thing” are common. Why did “she” blow up? Because the account was overdrawn.

Little things, over time, make a big impact. Consider smiling, saying “thank you,” and looking up from your device when someone walks in. These are freebies, deposits into emotional bank accounts that come in handy later.

The beauty here is that you can actually make people like you, or even love you, by simple acts. In marriage, it means that saying “we just don’t love each other anymore” is as ridiculous as saying “my car just isn’t clean anymore.” In both cases, the power to fix it is entirely yours.

Okay, so maybe that did turn into a marriage blog. But I promise the emotional bank account exists with everyone. Try it, and tell us what happened.

Christian